Lets talk about apologies!!!
Common apologies from friends:
- I’m sorry I can’t go out. I have a family to take care of and require me to act responsible.
- I’m sorry I can’t eat carbs or sugar or alcohol right now. I’m working on not feeling so sick lately.
- I’m sorry I slept in later than usual. I’ve been so tired and stressed out lately.
- I’m sorry the dish I brought to this party is not all organic. I was pressed for time.
- I’m sorry I’m not up to date on all of your favorite tv shows. I have other things in my life keeping me occupied. Like my job. And my family. And like, my passions.
Common apologies from colleagues:
- I’m sorry I don’t understand the task, and would like further clarification.
- I’m sorry I’m sniffling and taking so much cold medicine. I woke up very ill and figured i should still come to work.
- I’m sorry, but I feel I may be a victim of sexual harassment in the work place.
- I’m sorry I didn’t bring you Starbucks. I did not realize it was my responsibility.
- I’m sorry I’m late. There was an accident that could not have been predicted.
- I’m sorry I am not passionate about this job and I am looking for work elsewhere.
- I’m sorry I need time off to spend some time with my family.
- I’m sorry I have been so sleepy at work lately. I am very stressed in my home life.
Common Apologies I have heard myself say:
- I’m sorry I am tight on funds and cannot spend extra money. I am in between jobs.
- I’m sorry I would like to take this time to express how I am really feeling because I feel like it matters to this relationship.
- I’m sorry I have been exercising a lot. It makes me feel better about myself and helps me be more productive.
- I’m sorry I can’t eat cake and ice cream. I’m working on being my healthiest self.
- I’m sorry I have a specific kind of personality. I am a diverse woman with a lot of passions.
- I’m sorry I no longer believe the same things that you believe. My experience has led me to feel otherwise.
Now… Go back up to these lists. Take a look at the statements, and remove the “I’m Sorry” from every single one of them.
Now they have just become factual statements, explaining needs, boundaries, passions, emotions, and things we should NEVER have to apologize for.
Why do we feel like we have to live in a head space of constant apology when it’s unnecessary? Who are we disappointing by having needs? What are we afraid of? Are we just avoiding the responsibility we have to our own hearts?
If we go around our lives saying “I’m sorry I believe in this moral code,” or “I’m sorry my body is shaped this way,” or “I’m sorry I have this passion,” then we are NEVER allowing ourselves to carry out our fullest potential. We are stopping ourselves from our divine truth for the sake of other peoples’ ideas of who we should be, or just merely out of fear. STOP IT! LIVE YOUR TRUTH!!! (I mean, don’t be a jerk either… like, don’t go around chastising anyone for living out their truth as well— They shouldn’t have to apologize for who they are either. It goes both ways, mmk?)
I am currently learning about what it truly means to live in a way in which I only need to apologize if it truly is necessary. An apology should be meaningful– used when we are truly and deeply sorry for a terrible mistake. But, in the meantime, if I stay true to who I am, stick to my own morals, and chickety-check-myself-before-I-rickety-wreck myself, I will never have to wander around my life saying “Im Sorry” for my own existence. It’s REALLY HARD. But when I commit to it, its extremely liberating. It makes goals seem so much more attainable. And frankly, it makes living joyfully a breeze.
I encourage you to catch yourself the next time you apologize for something silly. See if you can give the statement “I’m Sorry” the actual meaning it deserves. You just might be able to set yourself free from something big.
Until next time, friends!